Direktlänk till inlägg 23 juli 2015

A fantastically horrible journey through the early 1980’s. – Part 3 act two - fear of death

Av Frojd - 23 juli 2015 00:32

In our debrief groups we started of with talking about how we felt at that moment. We went on to talk about some scenes we wanted to share with each other, then we talked about what we will bring with us. I will definitely bring back the lottery of death scene. I really just love the idea of the whole thing that the characters do their choice as part of a meta scene. I would love to take the idea of an in-game meta scene that works as this have done.

When we were done in our debrief groups we had a short fiction brief of what had happened in the world since last year, also what had happened with HIV in the world. JALL used an accelerated time line for the HIV/aids epidemic. Some of the things around the virus didn’t happen until 1986 but for the possibility to make the larp even greater the writers put it in the fiction a head of time. They also talked a lot about how prominent the fear of death was about getting HIV. We had a shorter workshop about the anxiety of meeting other people who might be infected.

We had lunch together with our social groups. We talked about what we would do with the social group and some left for new social groups. I choose to stay in my social group, as did Gwen (if I remember correctly).

After lunch we met in our core groups for a ten minute talk to see if we were going to stay in our own core group, after the ten minutes we had the possibility to swap groups. No one in my group left, but we got another three player to our core group. First Bruce joined our core group. He was Mickey’s new boyfriend and they had a lot of great ideas for good play. Barbara also joined our core group as she was Gwen’s best friend. Finally Evelyn also joined our group. We talked a lot of what had happened to our characters during the last year. I told my core group that I wanted to play on misery and despair. I think that in hind sight I rather should have played more on the theme for the second act that was fear of death. Me and the player who played Gwen decided their perfect little marriage had started to crackle in the seems. The last month before the 4th of July party 1983 Gwen had several times excused herself with headache instead of going with Lester to the Swingers club. Gwen never went to bed she went out to the Cubby hole instead which was a lesbian club, this was something Lester never knew before the second act started. But it was something great that we could play on.

Before the larp started we had about 1,5-2 hours free time to do what ever we wanted as well as getting ready for game start. I used it to finishing of an episode of the podcast Nördigt to get away a little from the larp. I also had time to talk to the player of Evelyn about hers and Lester relationship.

Once again we met up by the flag pole. Here we get to find out how the two characters died and what got out in the media. We also got some updates on what had happened to some of the other characters. For example had the band Urban Renaissance released another album. Samantha had openly been on TV saying that she was HIV+.

Then we started the larp with “Just a Litte Lovin - Dusty Springfields” again. Lester mingled around and said halo to old friends with hugs, both Hank and Samantha as some of the first persons, without even thinking about it. I really would have remembered to play a little bit more on the fear of death and the anxiety of hugging or shaking hand with a HIV+ person or some one who might be infected.

The flag was raised as the characters sang the national anthem. When the anthem was finished Mr T. held his annual speech, followed by Kohana’s speech. When the speeches were over the Saratoga’s went to their secret place to renew their pact. During the pact they talk about the ones they have lost this year which was Max. Lester takes Gwen’s hand for support, but she soon takes her hand to herself and puts it in her pocket, to Lester’s great demise. The rest of their little ritual is very hard for Lester, he is so filled with sorrow and abandonment. When they all left the pact circle, Lester felt really abandoned. He got up to the party and mostly floated around, just existing.

A little while in to the party Lester met Clair(Barbara’s ex girlfriend) and they talked. Lester found out that Gwen had been to the Cubby hole for almost a months time, just lying to his face. He got surprised and even more hurt. He confronted Gwen with this and she admitted it. They had a small fight. She told him that she felt suffocated because of his grief. For the first time in their ten year long relationship he wasn’t sure about their love which he told her. Then he just left her before he broke down.

Some time during the night I was in a black box scene together with Beatrice, Evelyn and Harvey. The player who played Evelyn wanted a joint memory from our time at the Saratoga when it was a rehab center ten years before the first 4th of July at the larp. So we came up with a scene where the group of characters stole Hanks car and went in to town to go clubbing, but since it was only two who were 21 they didn’t get in. So they bought some booze at a liquor store. During the ride back to Saratoga they drank so much, as Lester was driving home Evelyn gave him a blowjob. As you guessed it, the ride didn’t end well. They hit a dear and banged up the car. The stress of hitting an animal, which didn’t die, was really strenuous on the characters. They decided to take the char back and return the key without anyone knowing of it, then call animal control anonymously.  We as players talked off-game a little after the scene and agreed that it was a great common memory.

At around 22 there were a show from club Diamond. With drag queens and some other artists. Lester really loved the show. It was several performances, a couple of drag queens performing songs. Then a character performing a song herself(the player sang not mimed). Another character stripped. I am so impressed with all their courage they muster to be able to perform in front of all the other players even if it is just miming.

Some time after the show Lester basically breaks down, just sitting against a wall feeling pity for himself. It is part of the play I wanted and aimed for during this act. So I got what I wanted. But I am not sure I should have aimed for it. I could probably have gotten more interesting play if I had played for another kind of game.

At midnight there was a big bonfire with a tasting of “the green drink” being served (I forgot to talk about it in the last post, but we had that scene last act as well.). The drink is a meta technique as well. The idea about the drink is that you as a player shall either intensify the characters feelings and play or take the character in a completely new direction. I had a hard time doing this through out the larp. I think it is because it take a little longer for me to change the play of my character.

After the midnight ritual Lester met Mickey who told him to go and speak to Gwen, but Lester really had no interest in doing so and told Mickey. So Mickey just ordered Lester to go to the swings where Gwen would be waiting. Lester went there with his head hanging down a little since he had no interest in talking to Gwen really. Lester found Gwen tied to the swing-set. He let her down and asked what had happened. She explained that it was a part of the dominance from Mickey. She was about to leave right away but Lester stopped her. They had a short talk. Lester asked Gwen why she hadn’t told him about the wish to visit the Cubby Hole. She told him that she didn’t think he would have understood and she didn’t want to hurt him. He accepted her answer and told her that she hurt him more with this behaviour.

I can’t remember that much more about the rest of the night before I went to bed.

The morning Lester was as usual up early (my stupid body) and ended up in the disco talking to Tony about music. Then I went in to the diner for breakfast. Where I sat down in the corner inside the door to the left. I soon got joined by Enrique and some other persons. It was an okay breakfast for Lester.

Once again the breakfast was ended with the music before the lottery of death. This time the Angels of Death ran in just threw around the tickets and the pens. They looked hollow eyed. They looked really tired. It was a great enhancement of the fact that they had more to do now that the gay-plague had spread even more. This time Pepper had to call out 15 names. Among them Lawrence and Barbara. When Barbara’s name was called out Lester saw Gwen on the absolutely furthest away from him in the diner, he felt more alone than ever.

The fifteen left and soon after Death came and we followed. This time we needed to gathered more flowers. We walked up to the graves once again. In them laid Barbara and Lawrence and two others I don’t remember who. This was a hard time since Lawrence was a good friend and Barbara who was like a sister to him. Lester cried bent over her grave for a long while. Shortly after that the second act was over.

Once again we got a fifteen minutes break and then gathered in the debrief groups again. We talked about our current feelings again. Soon we moved on to get a fiction brief of what had happened in the world and reality during the year 1983-4 as well as what the organisers had put in the larp that was from later in reality.

/I truly deeply love you all.


Just a little lovin'
Early in the morning
Beats a cup of coffee
For starting off the day

Just a little lovin'
When the world is yawning
Makes you wake up feeling
Good things are coming your way

This old world
Wouldn't be half as bad
It wouldn't be half as sad
If each and everybody in it had

Just a little lovin'
Early in the morning
That little extra something
To kinda see them through

Nothing turns the day on
Really gets it dawning
Like a little bit of lovin'
From some loving someone like you

This old world
Wouldn't be half as bad
It wouldn't be half as sad
If each and everybody in it had

Just a little lovin'
Early in the morning
Just a little lovin'
When the world is yawning

Just a little bit of lovin' ah
Oh, in the morning
Nothing turns the day on
Really gets it dawning
Make a little bit of lovin'
It's so good, it's so good


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Av Frojd - 30 augusti 2015 01:50

This is something I have been wondering for a long time, all the way back to my education two years ago, where we talked about it. Constantly I get reminded about it.    I feel that my family is not valid as a family. My family consist of me and ...

Av Frojd - 29 juni 2015 09:27

    Something I forgot in the last blog post to mention is I will only talk about character name in these blog-posts. Since it is my and Lester’s story I will not elaborate too much away from our story, the other stories are not mine to tell...

Av Frojd - 28 juni 2015 01:23

I will write this recollection of the 2015 of the larp Just a Little Lovin' (JALL from here on) so that all my non Swedish friends can read this.   JALL was a larp set over three 4th of July parties and the morning after in the lgbtq world of New...

Av Frojd - 7 december 2014 23:46

Varför måste saker falla sönder när det gick så bra. Varför kan de jag håller av och älskar bara inte få må bra för?   Jag får ännu längre till mina älsklingar och jag står snart utan boende. Sen vet jag inte vad som händer med jobb efter januari...

Av Frojd - 9 november 2014 23:42

Jag pratade med en vän om det här med ens egna sexualitet för några dagar sedan, dagen efter vi snackade så dök en text skriven av mina andra vänner på fb om bisexualitet och hur Hen tolkade just ordet och vad det betyder för henom. Jag har funderat ...


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